lulz on other forums (current, not classics)

When I first got my B5 back in '08, people were telling me to get GIAC. Most of these people were running FnF scene MKiv GTis and B7 A4s, claiming it changed the car and made it more aggressive.

I ultimately went with APR as the safe choice after looking at the dyno charts of what the tune did to the K03s. It would spike the crap out of the K03s and I came to the conclusion that it was like overclocking stock turbos, killing them faster by configuring boost to spike before 3500 and then just dying off.

I initially had a GIAC tune as well. I wouldn’t have known better but at the time this was the only tune covered under the Stasis/Audi warranty. Years later I made the switch.

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/559054-SRM-RS6-Turbos

Got to love it when B5 guys get their panties in a bunch. Should see their conversation about this in B5 owners group on FB. Classic

LOL some seriously butthurt people in there.
Did anyone notice that Jake dropped “However, we have since taken the B5 S4 back to the track and have ran faster…”

That’s crazy, I wonder how much faster than 10.8 it ran :o

I wonder, I wonder… ;D

That’s two slips you owe us now - the S5 ones and now a B5 one. So much tease lol

Come on, you know how we roll. We don’t release information until everyone has practically forgotten about it! ;D JkJk

If I were you wading in over there I would say less, take your time and build a strong argument rather than responding so quickly to these guys. Take note of how Jason or Dan do it. They post sparingly, and don’t vomit up a bunch of information. They wait…and choose their moment. REmember these posts are in writing, @JHM, and will stand there forever.

  1. you post showing the ET delta from K04 to RS6r as if it’s a victory that proves the concept of the RS6r turbo, but you left yourself open to attack there because trap speed didn’t change (the true reflection of power a car is making)

  2. you dismiss the questions about trap speed being identical on the K04 and RS6r runs, which are the true indicator of the power a car is making…by saying the dragstrip is full of variables. But didn’t you moments ago CITE the dragstrip as proof of concept for the RS6r turbos? Further doesn’t JHM avoid the dyno game and post timeslips as proof of performance? So why now is a JHM rep refuting dragstrip data to explain away an inconsistency?

Reality is that ET (the metric you used to show the RS6r success) reflects a combination of power/tuning and the driver’s ability to make a good pass out of it and is LOADED with variability, whereas trap speed is pretty consistent at reflecting power the car is making (provided the driver isn’t retarded).

  1. you intimate that the itguy turbo trapping 125 MPH isn’t that special because the JHM car on PJK04 turbos trapped 130 back in 2007. The only time people say PJK04 (plain jane K04) turbo is when they’re trying to minimize them. i.e. ‘just little standard K04 turbos, nothing special’. Then minutes later you go and explain the lack of delta between the JHM K04 time and the JHM RS6r time being because Jay’s K04 time was accomplished by running the K04s to within an inch of their life. If that’s the case, is it a fair comparison to show they crushed the itguy turbo? Or is it an irrelevant benchmark (turbo comparison wise for customers) since you’re not likely to ever sell that tune that produced 130 on K04s?

If I were responding to the queries on that thread I would have explained

  1. Jason removed his stereo on the K04 run (100 lbs) but it was in for the RS6r run
  2. Jason ran a 10 lb carbon fibre hood on the K04 run (40 lbs lighter than stock) and a stock hood on teh RS6r run
  3. Jason ran no catback on the K04 run but had full exhaust on the RS6r run (this is 40 lbs and some performance)
  4. Jason ran the week of Christmas/New Years in epic DA on the K04 run and in much more modest conditions on the RS6r run
  5. Jason ran with the car operating flawlessly on teh K04 run whereas he was still fighting the throttle body issue on the RS6r run.
  6. Jason ran the K04 turbo into the ground on that file, whereas the RS6r turbo run was done using a file that anyone with a similar modlist would get

Despite all of these items, he was able to gain 1 MPH of trap speed, and 3 tenths of ET with their RS6r turbos.

100lb stereo…damn. That’s some serious boom box.

Make it 3, I’m sure they’ve played with the RS4 some more too.

Lol that thread is ridiculous got another 2+ pages just this morning/afternoon.

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/560297-Question-aboutBroken-flap-inside-my-intake-manifold?p=9080799&viewfull=1#post9080799

[quote=“sa_seahawker”]Wait are you talking about the throttle body flap? If so, wouldn’t be easier to just replace the throttle body?
[/quote]

[quote=“sa_seahawker”]“Amy” 2003 A4 1.8TQM - Amulet Red
[/quote]
Figures he’s got an A4… I recall this tard making similarly stupid comments in the past

[quote=“sa_seahawker”]“Amy” 2003 A4 1.8TQM - Amulet Red
[/quote]
I was gonna shut him up, but decided to offer advice instead of petty arguments.

Figures he’s got an A4… I recall this tard making similarly stupid comments in the past
[/quote]

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/560297-Question-aboutBroken-flap-inside-my-intake-manifold?p=9080799&viewfull=1#post9080799

[quote=“sa_seahawker”]Wait are you talking about the throttle body flap? If so, wouldn’t be easier to just replace the throttle body?
[/quote]

[quote=“sa_seahawker”]“Amy” 2003 A4 1.8TQM - Amulet Red
[/quote]
Figures he’s got an A4… I recall this tard making similarly stupid comments in the past

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/559909-Dyno-results-JHM-91-B7-S4

The guy who dyno’d at EPL was funny as fuck. Knowing EPL’s history for dyno shenanigans…and for getting owned by JHM and their customers, I found this interesting…

[quote]It’s all in where you have it dyno’d.
My avant is JHM 93 tuned with full FI exhaust and all I got at EPL in CT was 257whp. Obviously something is amiss.
[/quote]
On pretty much every dyno on earth, a JHM 93 tuned car with those mods is going to make about 30-40 whp over stock. Yet somehow he dyno’d about 10 less than stock. Wow! Something’s amiss alright :slight_smile:

[/quote]
IIRC, CELison laid down a 11.9 @116 in that “12 second” car.

Meowisfat, on the other hand, only managed to squeeze out a 12.7 out of that dud Rs6 car of his.

[quote=“sa_seahawker”]“Amy” 2003 A4 1.8TQM - Amulet Red
[/quote]
I was gonna shut him up, but decided to offer advice instead of petty arguments.

Figures he’s got an A4… I recall this tard making similarly stupid comments in the past
[/quote]

IIRC, CELison laid down a 11.9 @116 in that “12 second” car.

Meowisfat, on the other hand, only managed to squeeze out a 12.7 out of that dud Rs6 car of his.
[/quote]
I stand corrected. I was way off.

Barely 11 second car one time vs. almost 13 second car every time.

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/560464-Any-easy-way-to-tell-if-I-have-Ecodes

guy wants to get ecodes for his B6 S4
asks how he can tell if the previous owner already installed some

http://dennisjudd.com/albums/cute_cats/MY_BRAIN_IS_FULL_OF_BILLIONS_AND_BILLIONS_AND_BILLIONS_OF_FUCK.jpg

Saki whats your best 1/4 time? Just curious.