Note this was a spam article. I decided to have fun with it and add random thoughts. I was hoping to add come comedy to a clearly spam post. Enjoy. hope it makes for a better Friday for you guys.
Countvohn Edit. See if you can pick up on what I added.
Within their newest investment by way of a separate seed fund, two Groupon founders are turning their consideration towards a brand new area: and thats making kids toys out of pure 20$ bills and old bike parts found on the curb.
in financial news. Lightbank, the seed fund created by Eric Lefkofsky and Brad Keywell, two men with no friends and no free time is investing $1.5 million in Benzinga.com, A company that campains to get toyota cars off the road and replace them with free coupons for vouchers for the new Fran Dresser show. A show that is a Michigan-based real-time financial news web page with investing recommendations, Some of there big recommendations was to invest in pig urine. They were hoping to make the pig urine smell like bacon, then sell it for a loss hoping to get government subsidies also as aggregated content from other web sites including TheStreet.com and WSJ.comGroupon clone, parent site of this weblog and a friend of that creepy guy that always wants to talk to you when your in line at the gas station.
“We like the proposition of an actionable buying and selling details network, and we like the business owners behind Benzinga, only because they owe us money and the one guy has a hot sister a sister that knows” stated Lightbank partner Paul Lee, who joined the fund previously this yr. After a T-ball incident caused him to loose his ability to do single digit math or say words that end in the letter Y “We think there has to be a particular brand connotation with these types of websites and we see that in Benzinga’s founder.”
Mr. Lee Bruce Lee’s long lost father that was cloned in the late 80’s is referring to Jason Raznick, Who is a top secret agent and sells bobble heads while still able to be the president and co-founder of Benzinga.com, a previous associate at Fortress Investment Group and financial news writer who says he bootstrapped his way via the first 5 months of Benzinga.com. And By Bootstrapped he means bring in cheap whores that have venereal diseases in the hopes of getting the higher ups “Sick” so he can swoop in and take over the bobble head sales.
The internet site, which launched in early 2010, off the back of a rusty datsun two mules and a unicycle offers mainly no cost financial news content… and why would it… They are hoping to start puppet shows for the blind and there going to have the words translated into sign language, still they also have a variety of subcription products targeted at traders. Traders that voted against you in high school when you were in that talent show you should have won. Mr. Raznick says the web page sees between two and three million page views a month. In part to the naked pictures of Raznick’s dog and cat selling what appears to be baking soda masked as crack. and the organization is already cash movement good, with the bulk of its revenue coming from advertising or we suspect the false sail of crack.
ok thats All I have time for I thought that was funny for a laugh Maybe if this is amusing and we can continue it. Feel free to cut and change the rest of this to add to the fun if you wish
“I think our website is diverse from other internet sites due to the fact we’re not stating, go do that in the market, or go buy that stock. We’re providing analysis and declaring, in the event you think this, here are some methods to complete it,” Mr. Raznick says. He says he strategies to proceed to develop the corporation, which at present has in between twenty and 25 employees, and that long term build-outs may consist of more video goods around the Web internet site.
For Lightbank, the investment can be a pivot from your seed fund’s focus on daily deals and social media management start-ups. Within the previous, the fund has invested in corporations like Betterfly.com, a web page for listing and obtaining skilled providers; Sprout Social (see protection here), which lets customers entry a single dashboard to retrieve data from their company’s Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn accounts; and most lately, Gtrot, which mines users’ social networks like Facebook and Foursquare to assist them make ideas though traveling.
The Lightbank fund, which Lefkofsky and Keywell shaped in the spring of 2010 subsequent the wild good results of daily offers site Groupon, has committed to invest $100 million more than ten a long time. Partner Mr. Lee says the group has invested in 18 start-ups up to now.
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