lulz on other forums (current, not classics)

Such flawless logic ITT:

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/480193-ECU-Flash-ADVICE-NEEDED-PLEASE!?p=7480803#post7480803

[QUOTE=rs_fizzy;7480121]You’re absolutely right.

How many engines did they grenade? 1,2, 10? Do you have any idea how much each engine costs? If they did blow at most two engines, do you have any idea how many RS4’s they would need to tune in order to break even? Im sure any business with a bit of logic would second think it and stray away.

Sorry, but I would never let a high end engineer at Ford SVT touch any of my GERMAN made cars. Let the engineers in Europe handle it.

I like to go with a tried and tested product with absolutely no complaints. Im sorry, but JHM has too many.
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lots of misinformation on that thread re every tuner.

  1. I think all of the tunes remove the RS4’s torque limiter (limits torque in gears 1-2-3 by restricting throttle to 50% below 5000 rpm)
  2. JHM didn’t blow any motors in testing their tune. Someone suggested they did this, but that’s not true. They blew the motor on their supercharged B6 S4 twice trying to see how much power it could handle, and blew the motor on their tip B6 with their turbo kit (count vohn’s own car). But they’ve never blown their RS4’s motor. They are nowhere near the limits of the motor with the tune and exhaust so it’s preposterous. These cars make 360-375 whp. The RS4 can handle 500-550 whp comfortably (we all think…but don’t know yet. TTS is pushing 500 whp already with their SC kit).

All in all you just can’t argue with many of these Rs4 owners. They know everything, test nothing and love to put whatever they can down (S4, Ford, whatever) to make themselves feel elite. It’s an embarassing group of car owners that I have bought into lol. Thank goodness the S4 guys have some fucking brains and make posts in the RS4 section…otherwise it would be a fucking disaster zone. When I hear the RS4 losers say ‘you guys only have S4s’ etc. I have to laugh. The only guys making any sense in most of these threads are S4 owners!

The funniest part? I owned an S4 a few months ago, and would have that same line shot at me by douchebag RS4 owners who know fuck all about performance (think…you know who lol). Now that I own an RS4 am I smarter? I’m saying the same stuff as the S4 guys…did they all buy RS4s without telling us in order to know what I know abotu the RS4? Fucking jokers.

[/quote]
JHM is the only company that has a “tested” tune lol… what a quattro fail ass clown

Loved the reply about “germans” tuning “german” cars.

Yeah that was funny. For a couple of reasons really

APR - us company
Giac - us company
Revo - uk company
Unitronic - canadian company
Jhm - us company
Mrc - uk company

So…who’s going to tune his car?

The other funny thing is one of those non german tuners has a strong german connection…but he’ll never know.

Who said JHM blew motors? I think it was either Uni or MTM that blew the motor

Also vohn said a couple times before that other tuners couldn’t figure out removing the torque limiter

Are you sure he said that about the rs4? Or the b5 s4…

I don’t think CV would say that about the RS4 (re: tq limiter), it’s known that APR & EPL + others possibly, remove it in their files.

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7493199

guy asks about parts for his V8 S4 at altitude

moron suggests pes

bcrunner suggests jhm parts

moron says pes is better

everyone lols

don’t even need to click. Nice Cliff’s!

ok I lied. I read it. Someone show the guy johnnyalqaeda’s timeslip and then compare it to sear’s timeslip. They both ran 14.0 at Bandimere (or similar Colorado performance killing elevation tracks). Sear had a superfuckingcharger…made by PES.

Then link the ‘real deal about PES tuning’ thread.

THEN everybody can lol again.

well now crabpot everyone’s favorite emo s4 owner is getting in over his head arguing about n/a vs blower at altitude

I find it amusing when people start arguing with beemercer and CV, what do people forget how smart these guys are

crapbot is the best

turbo with boost control = fixed boost (unless you change the tune or pulley) supercharger?

neat. Crapbot just invented something.

Ok so I’m trying to find johnnyalqaeda’s thread about his bolt ons car vs the PES s/c car and I came across this thread on AZ: www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/402115-Way-to-talk-shit-******

I know this is for current lulz but I thought this was particularly hilarious. I almost pissed myself. Thanks for the laughs JAQ, 91gl and silver b6.

http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/481861-B7a4-vs-B5s4?styleid=13

Just thought this was funny

I’m gonna keep my eye on that one, seems like butthurt B7 guys will blow it up

and speaking of B7 guys, I found the premise of this thread funny:
http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/481035-100mm-MAF-housing

that was aggressive! That was when everyone figured out that if a bunch of guys go somewhere else, most of the forum regulars would follow. So saying fuck you to audizine didn’t seem like such q big deal.

that was the official moment Anthony lost control of that subforum lol.

see…the guy who started that thread is a douche bag. He’s trash talking the a4 guys? He’s an insecure douchebag who measures his self worth by his car. Because he has owned a barely modded b5 s4 for 5 minutes, he feels he is worthy of trolling b7a4 guys ???(people whose cars are incidentally worth 2x what his b5 is) and saying their cars are slow???

that’s why people hate b5 (when generalizing)…douchebag insecure mooks like him thag give the car a bad name. I guess he forgets that he was a 1.8t a4 owner VERY recently.

why doesn’t he go to the pee wee soccer game and jump on the field and score a few while he’s at it?

Saki, you got it all wrong…

how?

he posted a troll thread wad a b5 raping a b7 a4 (baby seal much?) and then said this…

[quote] wasn’t trying to prove anything, its just video. I feel like I should apologize to you guys for having such slow cars
[/quote]
yeah…I’m way off ::slight_smile:

(ironically you get called out 3 TIMES as a b5 troll who does the same shit in the b7 forum lol…no wonder you think this other guy is alright)

I posted. I’m tired as hell and it doesn’t make much sense. It sounds like a jfunkey rant lol