CELsion is another perfect example of a delusional B5S4 guy. I think he is also a Britishturbo reject. He dodges the 1/4 mile because he is afraid to break his car, I think he has ran a 12.8@103 (STAGE 3 MINUS…lol). I’d imagine he is still stage 3 MINUS!
Look through his posts…
-He tries to trash the 4.2, screams how superior the 2.7T is, lol
-Dodges the 1/4mile multiple times
-Talks about how great EPL cars are…WHAT?
I could go on, but I won’t.
I don’t actually know him or his car, but I think he’s one of those B5 high school kids who has had a B5 since before Seinfeld was in syndication. He must have a 12 year old son by now…still rocking the B5 ‘build thread’. EDIT: wait…isn’t he one of the guys who was running around promoting Britishturbo as the greatest thing since slice bread? Guess he was in cahoots with him or something. Hopefully he got some kickbacks from Lee for that. Didn’t he sign up here under a troll account? Maybe I’m mixing up my B5 retards.
So many of those guys in the B5 section have been working on 9 year long builds…and the end goal is a stock motor B5 with chinese turbos, chinese exhaust, and Chinese replica SMICs. There used to be some fast B5 S4s when some smart people owned them. Now it’s a disaster of a platform sadly. It was such a good performance formula, but the cars are a shadow of their former glory.
When they do show up to a REAL racewars, like the Audi dragstrip night at Sacramento Raceway Park a week ago, they all run 13.xxx and spew excuses all night. I have probably been to the dragstrip more than any of them I can comfortably say, and I have seen 8 or 9 B5 S4s run in total over the years.
One ran 11.99 @ 116 with a full stage 3 build with Tial turbos and theftmoto tune and all the goodies. It was a meth file etc. That was his best ever…11.99 @ 116.
The other 7 or 8 B5 S4s I’ve seen…nobody has EVER run better than 13.xxx. I always want to race them because I love busting the B5 myth (that they’re all fast and can talk shit to B67s) but the footage is always useless…they’re never within a bus length and my go pro doesn’t usually point backwards.
It’s shocking how much shit they talk when their cars are fucking slow, shitty tuned, shitty partsd, and they can’t drive a fucking lick
My car isn’t all that fast, but god damn I don’t go around trash talking entire platforms as ‘slow’ all over the place the way the B5s do. Some of them might say that’s what I am doing here, but I’m not. I’m well aware of what a truly fast B5 can do. I’m pointing out the fact that those guys…they aren’t doing it.
They’re so ignorant about the B67s out there. It’s probably a good thing because those guys will soon be able to afford used B6s, and we don’t want them getting wind that you can build a killer 4.2.
B5 world…newsflash…jaybquick doesn’t drive a B5 anymore. Nobody drives a fast B5 anymore. It’s over. Once you all decided you knew how to tune better than professionals…and once you started skipping parts of a stage 3 build, and using CHinese crap was the way to go, the B5 died. That was about 4 years ago. It has done FUCK ALL since then.
here’s the fastest B5 B6 B7 cars in street trim. Notice the absolute dearth of B5s at the top? That’s not an accident. In 14 years, that’s what the B5 has put up as ‘fast’ for daily drivers with full exhaust and 4 seats and normal fuel. This is the rocket everyone talks about??? To make a B5 fast you need to fuel it with jet fuel or alcohol, pull the interior, and leave the exhaust in the pit lane. In other words, if you want your B5 to be fast on the street, in street trim, it won’t.
In 6-7 years, the B7 has walked on by, and the B67 S4 is about to do the same once JHM tells people their B6 S4 stage 2 went ahead and trapped 127 on a shakedown pass. Full interior, street trim, pump gas. But you didn’t hear that from me 
You’re right, most have never been to the strip. That involves much more driver skill, which many lack. The constant bickering gets annoying sometimes because I’m friends with a lot of those b5 guys, but I’m sure I’d get along with a lot of you as well if we met in person.
Fwiw though, I’ve seen celison’s car in person and it’s quick for a k04 car. I know he’s been to the strip but I don’t know what any of his times were.
What is so hard about it?
You launch from a stop. It’s an AWD audi…that is their bloody defining characteristic! Sure it’s hard to perfect, but it isn’t hard to do decent at, and decent won’t kill your time. Everyone accelerates hard from a red light once in a while. Just do that.
You then accelerate through 4 gears. Last time I checked it is exactly the same as a highway pull where you go through 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Except you have first gear in there to at the strip . Does first gear not work on b5 s4s anymore ?
No the reason nobody wants to go to the strip is because you actually find out if your car is fast or not. Compared to stock. Compared to other cars. Compared to EVERYTHING.
Most of those cars have shit tunes and that alone will kick their chances at the strip. As we have shown here on this site years ago, the favourite b5 tuner , EPL, suck at tuning for acceleration.
http://audirevolution.net/forum/index.php?topic=485.0
When everyone is tuning with a focus on a half rpm band, single gear dyno result, rather than actually tuning a fast car that accelerates well through the gears (novel concept) , you end up like the b5.
The dragstrip?
It’s not that hard.
It’s not that special.
It’s just a gigantic dose of truth…and when the platform is slower than it was in 2008, that is why people avoid the strip so fervidly. They prefer blissful ignorance, and just want to race other blissfully ignorant b5 guys at triple highway speeds
You can’t tell me jaybquick and someone who has only run a few times at the strip would run the same times in the same car. There is skill involved, just like anything. Personally I don’t go to the strip because going fast in a straight line in my car (or any Audi I’ve driven for that matter) isn’t that exciting anymore.
If you guys would like to come to S4RW15, you are welcome. I can assure you the actual event is nothing like the bullshit trash talking that is posted up on all the threads in advance. We have worked very hard to make this a relaxed enjoyable event. We looked into renting a road course, a drag strip, an airstrip, etc. At this time, we are unsure if there will be enough attendance if there is a gate fee or participation fee to cover the costs of the rental and insurance.
Also. I will be taking my slow POS B5 to the track this spring. I’ll post up the times for you guys to point and laugh.
Where did I say that? Let’s rewind to help you out…
[quote=me 20 minutes ago]You launch from a stop. It’s an AWD audi…that is their bloody defining characteristic! Sure it’s hard to perfect, but it isn’t hard to do decent at, and decent won’t kill your time.
[/quote]
So clearly I made a distinction. I don’t expect anyone to pull off Jason’s times. They’re nearly perfect (in the grand scheme of things). I do however expect you to be decent, and as I said decent won’t kill your time vs. perfect.
PinoyS4 is decent, and he ran his car the same day as Jason a few years back. The difference in MPH? Almost zero. The difference in ET? 1 or 2 tenths.
If you shit talk that you’re a superstar…talk down to other platforms…post irrationally optimistic expectations…and then run garbage times, you will indeed be pointed at and laughed at.
If act like a normal person, and do none of those things, and then one day say ‘I’m going to the strip, and I’d like some help’ or ‘I went to the track, here’s what I ran’ guess what…you will get some help
Britishturbo had a thread here, and on AZ. He was running frankly dog shit times.
The AZ thread everyone said ‘Way to go man your car is the greatest!’.
The thread here we said ‘frankly, those ETs are bad for the MPH, so let’s figure out why’…and we did.
We broke down his videos, gave him loads of tips and advice, showed him where he was fucking up (he was launching poorly off the wrong RPM even though he thought he was at a much different RPM). Once he made some adjustments, he went and ran a 10.9. Now 10.9 was still leaving a bunch of ET on the table considering his MPH, but hey, he shaved a load of time because he approached it like a normal person and asked for help and didn’t show his ass to the forum first.
Of course now that we know he was stealing from all you guys, I wish we’d never helped him, but them’s the breaks, and our crystal ball wasn’t working last year.
p.s. here’s what happened when you first came to this site. Any trash talking? Any attacking?
http://audirevolution.net/forum/index.php?topic=1749
nope. Just talking cars.
Haha I knew that thread would be brought up. I guess once you have owned a B5 the stigma never leaves you. But agreed, once I tried to show I didn’t think my B5 was all that and a bag of chips, it was just talking cars. Which since, then I’ve still wanted to check out a SC’d 4.2. Alex’s car sounded amazing.
All I was saying in my previous post here (and you agreed with about BT) is that a lot of people don’t go to the strip enough to learn the proper techniques and nuances of their car. If his car wasn’t a ticking time bomb, it had the power, as shown by the trap, to run a better time than 10.999. However, he was lacking technique.
That being said someone without proof shouldn’t be shit talking ET’s, but if they have a ‘fast’ car and want to shit talk about ‘highway pulls’ then so be it.
Like I said from the beginning, whenever you guys want to do a race wars at an actual track, let me know. Also, the excuse that the drag strip isn’t very exciting is bullshit. If you don’t get a rush you’re lying and you can line up against your friends for shit talking sake. Drag days are as fun as anything, I’m sure road racing is fun too, but drag racing is very informal…no special setups, just run in your street trim like your car is driven 99.9% of the time.
This prove your car is fast on the street is absolutely retarded… The videos from your past get together proves just how stupid you guys act. You remember me mentioning the 10% thing…I bet only 10% of the guys there have any sense whatsoever. I don’t really give a fuck about how fun it is to shoot the shit and talk cars or show them off. You’re passing people (families) at 120-140MPH in your 12-14 year old shitboxes. These are the same guys that can’t (so they say) manage to drive their car in a straight line through 4 gears, but they will attempt to drive 120mph racing others… in traffic… on roads that curve or have elevation change. I think I’m mostly irritated because I’m from that side of the state and have friends and family in the area.
It’s get together and group like this that actually give car guys/enthusiasts a bad name. Cruises are one thing, but no matter how hard you guys keep advertising “Road Rally” we all know you’re a group of idiots doing highway pulls in the middle of the DAY. I hope you guys don’t kill anyone and I really hope for your sake you don’t hurt anyone that I know.
I’m 40min north of Philly. LMK when you go to ATCO in the spring and I’ll join.
Sounds good, my first trip down didn’t end so well. I found the limit of the stock clutch disk with 60k miles going into 3rd gear.
That’s always fun, have you replaced your clutch yet?
It is nice your trying to put on a nice car show. I think your just getting bad feedback due to the name. There really isn’t any racing and there really isn’t a war. I think it’s a bad idea to have the rally part of it because adding b5 owners and trying to add in the rally aspect seems like it will end badly. The good thing is most of the B5 cars will break down shortly after the start of the event so nobody should be speeding. The b5 guys are the worst thing that happened to the B5 platform. There are a few good guys here and there. I don’t really agree with them on much but I don’t always have to agree to see someone’s point.
I think the biggest issues for the b5 really are not car related. It’s owner related for the B5. Everyone else seems to be able to get along. The B67 S4 guys get along with the B678 A4 S4 S5 S6 etc. The b5 guys can’t even get along with the B5 guys. There are a few good b5 and they are the only chance of saving that platform
No stigma, I thought you were great in that thread.
looks like they’ve called in the trollcavalry
Latest Member: ggg20t
formerly known as ‘golfcartdestroyer’…aka ‘I only signed up to help CELison troll’
GTFO
http://audirevolution.net/forum/index.php?topic=2049.msg54217#msg54217